i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
