pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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