We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
