I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
