So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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