We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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