My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
