That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I have feelings that need drinking.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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