I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
