I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
