I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Drunk is not a location!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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