Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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