The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
