My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
