you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
