I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
