whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
