He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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