Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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