Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
