Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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