I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
