U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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