She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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