i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
my shit smells like andre
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
