Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize