Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
