Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
