Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
