tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
