your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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