i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize