Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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