i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
