Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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