Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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