dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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