I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
