i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
