i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
