She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
