If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
