Ambien. No doubt about it.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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