i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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