fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Say something about gay babies.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
