We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
