Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
