what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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