I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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