Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
