Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
where does the pee come out of this thing
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
