just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
