it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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