I need help removing her.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
