How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
