You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i drank out of a bidet.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
