I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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