The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
