If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
