Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
